mortality and immaturity

I realized the other day that I am getting older. I heard that a friend from elementary school passed away from cancer last week. It baffles my mind that people my age are dying from sicknesses that grown ups are only supposed to get. I am not a grown up. I mean I have been working day in and day out (minus two stints on unemployment) since I was 18. That is a LONG time! 17 years to be exact. I have a house and a car and a husband and a baby girl and I do grown up things and am responsible for TONS of stuff. BUT, I don't FEEL old. I don't feel like I thought 35 would feel. This brings me around to my thoughts of mortality.

My dad is getting older. Last summer he had some serious kidney issues after surgery and he was in ICU. He was on dialysis for a few months and I was VERY worried. He miraculously recovered enough to get off dialysis. That is almost unheard of. I praised God for his recover. He fell a little after getting off the dialysis and broke his hip. He went through surgery and they put pins in it. While there he had to have another kidney surgery which scared me to death, but he came out OK. He is doing well, but he is about to be 80 in September. That number scares the CRAP out of me. I can't imagine a life without my dad in it. I hear songs or hear stories about people losing their dads and it breaks my heart. I feel so bad for people that don't have their dads. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she is such a great person. I would also be lost without her but she is only going to be 69. That is not old. I am not worried about her. I worry that if something happens to my daddy, I won't be able to make it. He is such an inspiring person. He loves everyone unconditionally. He is SUPER forgiving and is such a free spirit. He does not pretend to be something he is not. He is AMAZING. He is a Korean War Veteran, a husband, a dad, a brother, an uncle, a grandpa, a great-grandpa, and a friend in every role that he plays.

He was such a great dad to me and he is a great PawPaw to my baby. Beyond me losing him, I will be devastated for Kendall. I know what it is like to lose a grandparent at an early age. I have absolutely NO IDEA who my dad's mom was. It stinks. They have such a sweet bond and they love each other SO much. I pray every day for him to live forever, and I know that will NOT happen. I just want more time.

Now for the immaturity portion...Life is WAY too short for people to be petty. I heard from a really good friend today that she was having some drama. It is really sad what she is going through and the other person is NOT acting like an adult at all. I feel SO bad for my friend. She did NOTHING wrong and the other person is acting like a 2 year old. I really hope they can work through it because it is causing wounds in multiple other relationships. I wish people remembered how fragile people really are. Even if someone is super tough on the outside, they hurt. They just don't show it. The person that is hurt is so strong, but such a sweet and amazing person and she does not deserve to be treated this way. She was doing something nice and got faulted for it.

Please remember to tell people you love them, don't get angry about petty crap, and remember life is SHORT!!!!!!!!!!!

Here comes the sun...

AARRGGHHHHH

Well, I must say again as I have said before, I LOVE MY JOB. I don't love that I am going to have work all summer and put KJ back in daycare, but I am thankful that I have a job and found one that is pretty awesome!!

My Ladybugs finally won their first game on Thursday! We lost the first three so we were SUPER happy and excited to get that win! We beat the Tigers 12 to 11. Those girls were STOKED! So were all of us! We cheered and smiled and told them how proud we were of them! We have FOUR games next week!! Monday, Tuesday, Friday AND Saturday...It is going to be a loonnngggggg week!!!

I have been very busy lately with Girl Scouts and Softball and home and work. I am running every night and for like two weeks in a row, I have not been home before 7:30. This week we had two games, practice, and two girl scout functions. Oh, and softball pics. Don't get me wrong, I love to be busy and work hard for things I believe in, but when other people don't take their responsibilities seriously it makes me mad.

I work HARD at everything I do. No matter if I get paid for it or if it is volunteering and when I am busting my hump to plan things for the girls I volunteer for and people don't read or listen or show up for things I have put my heart into planning, it makes me sad and mad. I KNOW things come up, but I send out multiple messages and reminders and all sorts of information and sometimes it seems everything I do falls on deaf ears to a few.

I am frustrated and tired and I would LOVE to have only one thing to do and be able to come home every night and spend my evenings being relaxed, but I am totally in love with my child and love kids in general and I will do whatever it takes to make her and her friends I volunteer for happy!!

When all I do is not appreciated or paid attention to or listened to or whatever, it really kind of makes me mad. I don't HAVE to do any of what I do, but I enjoy it and just wish that other people were as involved as I was. At least a little more.

I will keep doing it, and I will swallow my feelings and truck on for the kids. I will put my smile on and keep planning and keep coaching and keep being an awesome person and mom!!!

Here comes the sun...

WARRIOR DASH!!!

OK - I freaking LOVED the Warrior Dash!!!! It was REALLY FUN!

I go there about 11 and hung out with K and C for a bit while we waited for my friend Robin to get there. K and tool a walk and looked at some of the course while we waited. I took some pics and scoped things out.

I saw a friend from high school that was in my same wave and we chatted for a few minutes. Then Robin got there with her family. We took some pics, made introductions, and got ready to head to the starting line.

We got the lady there to take a professional before pic. Then we stretched and waited a few more minutes. Finally we were on our way...

At the starting line there was these fire cannons and you could totally the heat. We took of and ran for a long time before we encountered our first "obstacle". The first one was fierce winds. It was a HUGE fan that was blowing at us. I have to say that it was hard to run through.

The second one was called Satan's Slope. It was interesting to say the least...It was atop a high hill that was being covered with water. It was super slimy. So, Robin and I decided to slide down side by side. Ummm that didn't happen so well. I zoomed down in front of her and slammed into the two girls that went in front of us. OMG!! my shorts and underwear went right up my butt crack LOL! It was SOO GROSS. I did not enjoy mud in my crack!

We ran for a bit more and came across our next obstacle. This one was a tiny black tunnel thing that had 2x4's across it so you had to go on your hands and knees. It wasn't too bad. Just hard on the knees.

Some more running and we came across another. This one was 3ft walls you had to jump over then some wall things you had go under because there was barbed wire on top of them.

Next was a ton of criss crossed bungee cords that you had to maneuver through.

Then there was a cargo crawl. It was a raised and flat cargo net that you had to crawl across. It was really pretty easy.

Next was the cargo net. This one was the one I was kind of afraid of the most. It was cool because the net was pretty tight and it was angled not straight up. I got stuck behind a girl that was too scared to crawl over and go down so I just had to hang out for a minute. It was a little scary going over but I DID IT!!!

Next was the tires. There were tons of different sized tires. I had never done tires before, but I ROCKED THEM!!!!!! I did really well. I guess having long lays does pay off sometimes.

Then we went into the lake about waist high to get over some suspended logs. I did OK because there was this big guy in front of me was pushing the logs down and again I have long legs so I kind of hopped over them. Robin got behind me and she almost fell face first int he water. Then somehow she got in front of me with the guy and made it over a log before I did. I was at this log all alone and couldn't push it down alone. Some other chick helped me but we didn't get it down on the way and it popped up and I went in backwards and almost went in but salvaged it! It was nice to be in the water to clean out the mud from the slope. While rinsing, I felt my butt and HOLY CRAP! The damn slope tore my underwear! It was HILARIOUS!!!! I was laughing soooo hard. Robin and I died!

Next was the haystack. It was nice and graduated like stairs. They had straps around them to help pull you up. The only reason it was hard was because we were wet.

We only had two to go! One was jumping over fire. I did a ballet leap over both lines of fire. It was pretty easy. Then we were on to our last obstacle.

It was called Muddy Mayhem. You had to belly crawl in this muddy slop and under barbed wire. It was SOOO muddy. And you had to get low because of the wire. My friends that had done the earlier wave were waiting on me at the finish line. They took some pics of me in the mud and one just before I finished.

Then I grabbed Robin's hand and we crossed the finish line together!!!! We got water splashed and got some to drink and ate a banana while we waited for our turn to get our after pic taken! We went back and took some pics and then went over to the "wash station". This was basically getting in a lake and rinsing off all the mud.

It was so fun and awesome! I was so happy Robin ran with me and I hope we can become better friends. We plan on doing it again next year.

Race results and pics to come later!!!!!

Here comes the mud....

Spring Break in review...

Well, last week at Girl Scouts K decided that she wanted to have a sleep over with one of her long time friends, Lily. We had already been talking about her moving upstairs, but this clenched it because she of course had to be able to sleep alone to have a sleep over. So, after a hard day of fun, we put K to sleep in her bed upstairs. She was all for it until it was time. There were some tears before we got up there, but she picked two books and we were on our way.

She was a little sad when we left the room but didn't cry. At the end of the first show (her tv was on a timer) she called out about the next show coming on. I told her it was ok and she went to sleep. The next night was no fight. Monday, not an issue. She even told her Daddy on Tuesday that she needed to bring her toothbrush and toothpaste up to her bathroom. She did it. Then on Thursday it was the big night. We went to drop her off at Lily's after I got home from work. I took this pic before I left (notice her St. Patty's shirt)...



Andrea said she did awesome. She called home about 10 or 10:30 to say goodnight and went to bed. They said she got up at about 3am and went downstairs looking for us. Will found her down there and took her back up to bed and told her that if she needed to call us in an hour then he would let her. No call! She went back to sleep and did great! I am SOOOO proud of that girl.

NOW, Friday night was DRAMA!! She told me that God made her different and she just can't stand sleeping in her own bed. I said NO WAY. You made it 5 days at home and through a sleepover and the bed sleeping doesn't stop because your sleepover is over. She went up there and cried some. When her tv went off there was serious tears. I went up and laid with her for a few minutes and helped her dry her tears. I offered the radio but she wanted more tv. That however, was NOT an option. She was sad, but I left and she went to sleep. I was SO proud of her. Tonight, she went yo without any drama! I think we finally have a little firl that sleeps in her own bed!!!!!! Here is a pic of my sleeping beauty!



Sunday was a fun bday party for a friend from class and then we played at the park...




Monday of this week was a rainy day so K and Dad stayed home.

Tuesday they came to eat lunch with me and then K went with Daddy to the dentist. I met them at Chuck E Cheese after work. It was SUPER fun! Then had Chuys for dinner!!





Wednesday we drove around Atascocita picking up the last of the cookies. Kendall FINALLY made 400 boxes and is now going to get the owl pillow! She must have thanked me 8 or 10 times. It was SUPER sweet.

Thursday was the big sleepover.

Friday night we had movie night and watched Ramona & Beezus again. LOVE love love that movie! It reminds me SO much of me and K and our lives. Ramona is such a free spirit and totally reminds me of my bug.

Today we delivered almost all of the rest of the cookies. We have three neighbors that aren't home and my BIL and SIL's cookies which are being delivered tomorrow. We got home and K played outside for a few mins. I told her to get ready because we had a surprise for her. While I was out walking the dogs I saw a ladybug floating in the hot tub. I scooped her out and let K play with her for a bit.



When I FINALLY convinced her to let the sweet bug go, we went to Mud Pie in Kingwood. It is a pottery painting place. We had been there this summer for a bday party and I have wanting to go back. So, we did it. K picked a princess bank. They put a glaze coat on it and fire it and we pick it up in a week. She did most of the work, but daddy and I helped. I can't wait to see it!!!

Tomorrow is Warrior Dash!!!!!! I am freaking STOKED!!!!! I am only afraid of the cargo net. I have never really climbed anything so we shall see! I am sure you will see some pics next week!!!!!!!

pics from Saturday

Here are the pics from Saturday that wouldn't upload!

The dress for the wedding!!!



Just being gorgeous!!



My "bug scientist" looking for bugs

Saturday funday

What a lovely Saturday! I got up this morning and went for a 2 mile run. It was nice. I pushed myself harder than normal. I am a lazy runner. My muscles are tight and I have decided I need to invest in a foam roller. I did not know what this was until my friend Jaime started using one for a calf injury. My legs want one so bad right now lol!

After my run K and I got showers and went to look for her flower girl dress for the wedding in July. OMG! It is gorgeous. I will have to post a pic later because my stupid uploads are acting weird. We went to lunch at Olive Garden with Granny after.

Kendall REALLY wanted to play outside so we did. She rode her scooter for a bit, looked for bugs, got us some popsicles, and she rode the big wheel. It was so nice. I love laying on a blanket in the shade. It is one of my fav things.

We came in and rested a bit and then headed to walmart to get a bday present for a party tomorrow and K really wanted to spend her valentine and tooth fairy $$.
She got her friend a My Little Pony set and then looked and looked for herself something. She has $10 to spend so she has lots and lots of choices. Well she found something called Zoobles. I didn't really know anything about them but she wanted one soooo bad. She found a cute one with a mom and a baby. Basically they are these animals that go into a ball and roll around then pop open when a button is pushed. It is cute but she was acting like she bought gold. She kept singing that it was the best day of her life. Ummm OK.

We went to dinner at our fav local mexican restaurant and then came home and played with the new toy. She made a cool fort with a blanket and my legs with the coffee table. Finally it was bed time.

Here is the deal. Kendall sleeps with me downstairs. She is almost six and getting so big. She wants to have a sleep over at her friend Lily's house. I know she will have trouble if she can't sleep without me. ALSO, we are going to Kickapoo in 5 weeks and the beds there are tiny. Not even a twin. SO, I want her to be able to sleep on the top bunk.

There were tears when it was time to go up, but we went anyway. She went potty in her fancy princess bathroom and got in bed. I read two books and she got hugs and kisses from me and daddy. She started to cry a little but we turned the tv on a timer and told her to lay down. As I was leaving the room she said "Mommy, just one more thing..." "yes Kendall" "I just want you to know that I love you more than anything in the whole whole world" "I know baby. Lay down and I will come back and check on you in a little bit" "when" "i don't know, just lay down" "ok momma"

Then at 9:30 when the first show went off I hear a "moommmyyyyy" loudly i say "yes kendall" "um mommy, the first show went off" "that is fine, lay down and go to sleep" "what??" "go to sleep" "what" "GO TO SLEEP" "did you say wait for me?" NOOOOOOO I SAID LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEEPPPPPP" meakly "ok".

I have not heard anything again and it is 10:05. I am going to go check on her in about 20 mins and see whats up. I *think* she is asleep. We shall see.

And ohhhh do my legs want that foam roller lol. I checked and academy opens at 9 tomorrow. OH HAPPY LEGSSS, OH HAPPY LEGS.

Here comes the sun...

SO so so tired

just a quick post - I have not been home before 7:30 every single night this week...

I really want to sleep late tomorrow but I have to get up and go look at Kendall's flower girl dress for my baby boy's (nephew that is like my baby/brother) wedding in July. Appointment is at 11 but leaving here with Granny at 10...

I would take a nap but I need to finish the cookie deliveries and am meeting some friends for dinner.

Sunday I am trying to meet up with a cookie delivery and then we have a bday party at 11:30.

The good thing is we get to spring forward on Sat night which always makes me happy because we get an extra hour of daylight! I freaking love spring and summer! AND we have no plans next week at night. NOTHING!!! I will be vegging on the couch by 6 every night (except one that I am trying to go to dinner with my bestie but that is not stressful LOL).

Off to sleep.

More tomorrow.

Here comes the SUN

fun in the sun

Saturday was KJ's opening day. The weather stunk. We got up there and it was cold and windy and icky. We never had to work our booth because they were not open yet. So, while waiting around, my asst. coach came up and told me they needed another girl to play on there team. I said ok and bug went home with daddy and I stayed and played. It was double elimination so we wont the first and third and lost the second and fourth. It was SO fun! I wish I had the chance to play more. I was worried because I had the indoor tri on Sun and my quads were hurting a bit. I stretched ALL day and soaked in an epsom salt bath that night. It was not too bad.

I got up Sunday and felt pretty good. Got ready and headed over to the gym. Jaime and I got our numbers and our hands marked and headed to the locker room to get ready for the swimming leg of the race. We got in the water (it was cold). GO TIME. I swam freestyle the first two lengths and thought I was going to DIE. Seriously. I was so out of breath. The person clocking out lengths told us to slow down which was a huge surprise to us because we thought we were slow. After 6 lengths they said we had 5 mins left. I decided to get in four more. After ten she said I had 55 seconds left so I decided to try one more. I did it. I was so proud of myself. I have not swam for real in ages so to hop in the pool and swim 275 yards felt good. We went into the gym to change for the bike portion and thought we were doing well on time. HA! We got in the spin studio and they yelled TEN SECONDS! AAHH I didnt have a chance to get my feet in the straps. I could not see my mileage so I had no idea how far I was going and I stopped for a few seconds halfway through to fix my feet. I ended up going 9.9 miles. OK, onto the run. I was BEAT. I had not reealllyyy trained for this (I procrastinated like I do with absolutely everything in my life...hmmmm maybe I should change that...we will see. I ran/walked (because I was BEAT) about a mile and a third. Well, tonight the standings came out and my biggest fear was realized. I came in DEAD LAST. I am pretty bummed about it, but I hadn't been training and at least I finished.

My next race is on March 20th. It is the Warrior Dash. You can check it out at this website...

http://www.warriordash.com/register2011_east_texas.php

It is a 3 mile race with about 8 CRRAAZZZYYYY obstacles in it. A haystack, a giant hill, sand dunes, waist high water with logs, cargo nets, you get the idea. Then after that I am doing the TriGirl super sprint triathalon on mother's day. I am stoked about this one. It is a 200 yard swim (CHECK) and 8 mile bike ride (CHECK) and a 2 mile rin (weellll, I'll get there before then LOL). Now for REAL I will train at least on bike and run and will NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT finish last.

So, tonight the Ladybugs had their first game!!! They were pumped. We were visitors so we got to bat first. We got the 5 runs before they got the 3 outs! WHOOP!! Then they got 5 too. The next inning they held us to 1 and the got three. Going into the top of the third it was 8-6. We HAD to tie or get ahead. We tied it up. Then my girls got to outs. We had a girl on third and one at bat. The ball went past the pitcher and we scrambled so they got the run. So we lost 9-8. Here is what I am proud of. Well, a few things. My girls all played HARD! We show improvement every time we are out there. At least half of our girls have NEVER played before. ANDDDDD the other team's coach is our division director and his asst. coach is the select (tournament) team's coach for 8U. SO, to play against these two strong coaches and only lose by 1. It was great. All the girls were OK with the loss. I told each and everyone of them that they did a great job and that I was proud of them. I did have to make one run a lap though for not focusing during the game. She has the HARDEST time focusing and I told her if I called her name one more time for not being softball ready then she was going to run. Guess what, she ran. I told mom and she was totally fine with it.

SO, I had a great weekend and Monday except for the realization that I suck at triathalons and came in last. Oh well, there are always more. And next time I will be ready, I swear!!

Here comes the sun...

More work...

OK, so this place is AWESOME!

I love the people. They are all super nice and they really take care of the employees.

In the bathroom there is a basket of about 10 bottles of lotion. It is amazing. Also, on my first day, I went to the receptionist to find out about getting supplies and she took me in this awesome supply room and gave me this...



It was AMAZING!!!

My Ladybugs had a mini scrimmage last night. They did pretty well, but some girls have a hard time paying attention. They hit well, but we had a few slow runners. Also, we had a few fielding problems, but you know what, they had FUN! And I made sure they knew that I was proud of them!! Our first game is Monday!!! YAY!!

Yesterday was Dr. Seuss's bday. K informed be that he would have been 107. I checked the internet and she was absolutely correct. They have been learning about it all week. She also told me that even though he did not have a bday on Earth, he had a bday in Heaven with God. I was so shocked. Not that she was talking about Heaven and God, but that she told me her teacher told her that. Which I APPLAUD!!!!!I am so proud that she has the guts to talk about God in the classroom. The funniest thing about this is that she told me "Dr. Seuss is the MASTER of rhyming". It was super adorable.

She makes me laugh all the time. Today when I got home with my new work badge with a pic on there of me she said "Hmmm she looks familiar."

Dad said this morning on the way to school this morning she was singing "Splish Splash I was taken a naked bath."

Tonight before bed she was laughing and giggling and just being silly. She gets WACKY when she is super tired. She gets loud and giggly and FUNNY. She fell asleep right away when she finally chilled a little and was dreaming.

Now mind you, she talks in her sleep A LOT!! About 5 or 10 mins after sleeping she said something and about 5 mins later she said "YAYYY" and raiser her hands and everything! She makes me laugh even when she is sleeping!!!!

Here comes the sun...

First day on the job!

I started my new job today, It seems great. I got there and filled out paperwork and had my pic taken for my ID badge. I went back to my desk and unpacked and watched IT get my computer set up. Before I went back to my desk, the President's assistant took me into a conference room and told me that my direct supervisor is the manager over all of international freight. The other day they told me that they want me to take over the department and today the old ocean supervisor confirmed she was no lover the supervisor.

This is AWESOME! I feel great! I just hope I can do it!!!!!!!!! I think I can, but I am an overachiever and I always want to do my best!

The job seems really cool and everyone is SUPER nice!!