Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I am a freaking ROCKSTAR!! I am slowly but surely starting to believe what my good friends have been telling me. They think I am great and that I underestimate and undervalue myself.

Well, I am starting to believe that I do and that I am way smarter than I give myself credit for.

The other day while moving I had an argument with a certain someone that was helping me and I told him to leave and he did. He left the hutch to KJ's dresser in the middle of the living room. I was very discouraged. It is HEAVY!!!!! But, I got off my pity wagon and went in the bedroom and you know what, I FREAKING DID IT!! I got that hutch up on the dresser and screwed it on and then moved the million pound dresser where it belongs. Now mind you, I have bruises on my arms from it, but I DID IT!!!

Tonight as I am packing for my trip, I realized that I have a bazillion pics on my SD card and if I don't download them then I am going to run out of space on the trip, like tomorrow on the plane... SOOOO, I download them all onto my external hard drive. Easy...Welllll, when it comes time to delete them, deleting was NOT an option and for the life of me I could not figure out why...I took the thing out of the computer and into the camera and still, it sawys protected card...I am FREAKING OUT at this point...I called and texted the EX because he is pretty computer savvy but no answer...more freaking out...I am almost in tears and then I realize I have no birth certificate or social for KJ for the trip...more freaking out...

I called my mommy and she is calling the airlines to see if I need any proof that she is mine. Still waiting on that answer...I sit back down and fiddle with the SD card some more and then I think to my self "HEY MORON, try googling protected card" I have had this camera for years and have not had this problem before so I know there is a fix. I went online and solved the problem in 2 seconds.

I did not need anyone else! I solved the problem on my own. I feel GREAT!!!!! I can do things for myself. I am not saying this is a huge accomplishment for many, but for me it is. Trust me. I freak out easily, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something to do with my camera or pictures. Those are GOLD to me.

Anyway, problem solved, I AM A ROCKSTAR!!!!!!!!!!! I am really proud of myself...

NOW...back to packing...almost done but have to get up at 5 to be at work at 7 to leave at 11 to get to the airport and be on a flight that leaves at 3...anyone else tired??? I am!!


Saturday, June 25, 2011


I am getting close to being done getting all my crap out of the house. Just need to work on a storage unit to get the stuff that didn't fit in my HUGE apartment LOL!!

Kendall and I will be out of town next week so I will get the storage unit and get that stuff out shortly after we get back.

I feel like rambling today.

I have a headache.

My friends are all at a scrapbook retreat this weekend. I was responsible and didn't go to save money for next week's trip.

NKOTBSB is tonight. I am going but I am just not in the mood. Maybe it will change once I get there, but I really just want to stay on the couch.

I FREAKING LOVE THE MUSIC CHANNELS ON DIRECTV (well 814 - modern country) to be exact. It is on ALL the time when I am here alone. I love music - it is in my soul, but country has my heart. It made me who I am today.

Who am I today?? Well, I am working on trying to believe in myself. I have some really great people helping me on my journey. They actually see me for who I am. Some of them tell me regularly that I am awesome. The problem is...well, I just don't believe them. I have been told for so long that I am not so that is kind of where my head is. I was even told again today how worthless and pathetic I was as a parent and a person. This person has been telling me this for YEARS. Case in point as to WHY I am divorcing said person...I just wish I would NOT let it get to me. I don't care what he thinks, but it still stings. I guess when you hear something for so long from the person that is supposed to love you most in the world, it sticks...

OK, enough of my yammering on. I miss my bug! She is with her daddy until Wednesday afternoon when I pick her up to head to the airport...That is a LONG time away. But, I have her for 6 days straight for the trip so it is fair.

On July 11th we start our new visitation schedule. He will get her from daycare that Monday after work and keep her until the next Monday morning except for Wednesday which is the other parent's day. Then, on the 18th we switch and I pick her up from school and have her until the next Monday morning except for Wednesday.

I am going to miss her. I don't really know how I am going to spend all this time with just me. I have never had so much time alone before. I don't want to go "out" or party or anything. That is not who I am, but I may hit dinner or a movie with friends.

I feel like crying today.

I don't really know why...

Well, I better go get ready for this concert.


Here comes the sun...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

new tattoo

Well, I have been on my own now for a week. I have been gone for almost two months, but I have only been here for a week. I have NEVER lived alone. EVER. I moved out of my parent's house and into my apartment with my ex. This is really great and weird. So far I love it. I miss KJ terribly when she is not here with me, but I am SO much more relaxed. I have felt stressed and overwhelmed for SO long that I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to bounce back. But I am. I am trying to relax and be free and happy.

I went with one of my besties on Thursday who was recently divorced and we got new tattoos. I wanted some stars, something like a shooting star. I wanted it to mean something. I wanted it to represent the new chapter in my life. It was I wanted a reminder that I am shooting for the stars and I can be happy again. I showed a pic of something that I wanted to the artist and he made it into his own. I LOVE it. For several reasons. One is because it is all my own. No one else has anything like it. It is completely my own. I went to work the next day and I showed it to a coworker who is also a good friend for about 16 years. Her exact words were " I LOVE IT!! It looks so HAPPY and FREE!" YAY!!!! That is EXACTLY what I wanted!!!!!


***Blogger is not letting me post but I will post VERY SOON***

I don't have K this weekend. I may have some plans with another bestie on Friday night. This weekend is the summer scrapbook retreat but I am not going. K and I are leaving for Charleston next Wednesday for my baby boy's wedding so I am being responsible and I couldn't justify the extra $$$. BUT....Saturday night me and all my scrapbook besties are all heading to NKOTBSB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (New Kids on the Block and Back Street Boys for those of you who don't know). I am really excited!!!!!!!! I saw NKOTB two summers ago with my girls Andi and Julie and this year the three of us are going but adding Jayme and Michelle too!!!! I am so excited to hang with them. I don't get to see these four enough and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!

Next week I am super busy getting ready for the trip. I can't wait to see the Atlantic ocean again and take K to the beach and on her first plane ride. I am even more excited to watch my sweet baby be a flower girl for my Joshy and his sweet Amanda!!! I can't wait to see them get married!! Man I love that boy!!

HERE COMES THE FUN (sun)!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 13, 2011


YAY!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is moving day!!!!!!

Onward and upward people!!!!


Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Sooo, I move into my apartment next Tuesday. I have started packing. Man does THAT suck. I am going to try and finish most of the major packing this saturday and of course start moving Tuesday and then move a little each day. My goal is to be DONE by Saturday the 18th.

It is a tiny but stressful, but you know what, I am HAPPY. I have not been this happy in YEARSSSSS. I am not stressed, I am not angry, I am not yelling at anyone. It is PEACEFUL. I am a pretty peaceful person (being an Aquarius and all), but there were several years that I did not find myself at peace. I am once again peaceful.

Kendall is doing well, she is getting excited about the move. We went and found our actual apartment the other day and she got super happy. I am ready! I wish I could move THIS weekend, but I can't afford it...It is an extra thirty something bucks a day.

I had dinner with some great friends last week and it was AWESOME. They are really good friends and I just don't see them enough. I had dinner with Liana last night and MAN, am I going to miss that girl. AND, tomorrow night I am supposed to have dinner with some other ladies. Friday night is a birthday dinner for my bestest cousin in the world and Saturday...more packing. BLECH!!! But Sat night some friends invited me out. Not sure if I will go, but who knows. Sunday we see "Rock of Ages" and then I get my baby girl back. I will prob be loading my car that night and getting prepared for Tuesday!!!!!!!

REMEMBER...HERE COMES THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Moving along...

Well, I am sure you all are aware that I am getting a divorce by now. I have been living with my mom and it has been great but those extra 50 miles a day are KILLING me - timewise and moneywise. Kendall and I are moving into an apartment in Atascocita in mid June. I went by and looked at it and it was cute. They were having a summer special and knocking $40 off. I could NOT pass it up. I was going to stay here until August, but with that big of a discount I had to sign.

Well today they called and said it was good to go and I get the keys 6/14!! Who wants to help me move LMAO!! I am excited! I have never lived alone before. EVER. So this will be different for me. I already have so many ideas in my head of how it will be. And hopefully K will get her cast off that day so we can go swimming the next night!!!!! SO, if you want my new address, let me know!!

On another note, I have to say that I have some AMAZING friends. They are all being so supportive and I love them ALL to pieces. They are not all in the same circle by any means, but they are all special to me in their own perfect way. I hope you all know who you are!!!!!

Work is good, Kendall is perfect and my life is happy. So, what more can a girl ask for???

HERE COMES THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!