Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Happy but sad

I am extremely happy with my life right now. I have a GORGEOUS daughter that I love with all my heart. She is a people person and loves to smile (she can also make anyone she meets smile). I have a great job, a place to live, wonderful parents, a good family, great freinds, and a sweet man in my life. I can't really complain about anything (except for feeling icky all the time but I am trying to fix that one).

I guess I just hink about all the great things in my life sometimes and wonder...what does your future hold. I never imagined that this is what my life would look life at 35. Single, in an apartment, doing a job I love and am good at but don't really WANT to be doing. I wonder if I will ever get that teaching job. It is such a blow to the ego to have gotten my degree, gotten my teaching certification, done my student teaching, and WHAMO...go right back to the industry that I went into just out of high school. I wonder why I wasn't ever chosen for a teaching job. I love kids, I am smart, I am charming...I guess that doesn't show on paper applications...I wonder if I ever will teach. I want to. I love it. I think about going back to get my masters and maybe working with kids in a different capacity, but I currently don't have the time or the money for that.

I try to remember all the wonderful things mentioned above that I am blessed with, but some days that is hard!!!! I know God has a plan for me and this is where he wants me, I just wish I knew why...

On antoher note, Kendall got her first "strikeout" of the season last night. She was hitting off the tee and had already missed the ball once. She was taking her time and measuring the bat to the ball like she is supposed to but accidentally bumped the ball with her bat and knocked it off the tee. Her response was thid "That umpire knew I was just measuring and that I didn't mean to touch the ball and she called me out anyway. It isn't FAIR." She did make 2 great plays at 2nd base so that helped with her self-esteem. Only 3 games left with this team. For that, I am thankful.

Anywayyy, enough crying LOL. I just have to remember that even though I can't see it, He does have a plan!!


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