Tuesday, December 14, 2010


OK, so sometimes I feel that I am failing at EVERYTHING!!! Today has not helped. I have felt like I failed professionally. Two people in my student teaching group have gotten jobs. Why haven't I?? I have put myself out there and NOTHING! These are two people that don't even NEED a job! Which is one thing I do need!!!!!

I also feel like I am constantly failing as a wife. I feel I am never enough no matter how hard I try! IT SUCKS!!!!! I admit, I am not perfect, but when I do try and it still doesn't cut the mustard, it is sad and puts this weight on my chest like you can't believe!!!

Sometimes I feel like I fail as a parent. I did not feel this today, but I do feel it and sometimes often.

My last failure of the day is stupid RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!! I am trying to be a good person and make them for my good friends at the teacher meeting tomorrow and I tried to do something fancy and use the microwave directions. CAUTION!!!! Do not do this!!! My butter burned and the marshmallows did not melt all the way. I had to throw the first batch away. So, now I am on batch 2 and doing it the traditional way. I just am so down right now. Is it EVER going to get better???? I can't breath, I can't sleep. I can hardly eat. You would think that I would have lost more weight by now. I have NO idea what my future holds and it SUCKS!!!

All I can do is pray and ask my friends to pay that better things happen for me in 2011!!!

In the meantime I am trying to remember my mantra: "Love is all you need"...it is not working - thinking I need a new mantra. SOOOOOO without further adue...

Here Comes the Sun!!!!!!!!

:) Niki

No comments:

Post a Comment