I normally love Christmas, but this year, not so much...since the divorce I have to split Christmas...well this year I don't get Christmas morning...I am having HUGE emotional problems with this...I can't imagine how awful this is going to be to not wake up with my baby girl on Christmas morning....I have to pass her back to her dad on Christmas Eve at 10am and don't get her back until noon on Christmas day...I am trying so so hard to not let her know that I am, well, FREAKING OUT. We have our tree up and I keep playing Christmas music in the car, but honestly, I don't know that I am doing that great od a job. I am an absolute wreck...
On top of that I have a few other things going on that are really, really bringing me down...I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but some are medical and some are personal. But regardless, they are not helping my mood...
I think tonight buggy and I will make a gingerbread house that Granny bought us and watch the Michael Buble Christmas special...maybe that will help take my mind off of everything else going on because right now, all I really want to do is get in bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there...indefinitely....
Just call me the GRINCH..
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