Happy but sad

I am extremely happy with my life right now. I have a GORGEOUS daughter that I love with all my heart. She is a people person and loves to smile (she can also make anyone she meets smile). I have a great job, a place to live, wonderful parents, a good family, great freinds, and a sweet man in my life. I can't really complain about anything (except for feeling icky all the time but I am trying to fix that one).

I guess I just hink about all the great things in my life sometimes and wonder...what does your future hold. I never imagined that this is what my life would look life at 35. Single, in an apartment, doing a job I love and am good at but don't really WANT to be doing. I wonder if I will ever get that teaching job. It is such a blow to the ego to have gotten my degree, gotten my teaching certification, done my student teaching, and WHAMO...go right back to the industry that I went into just out of high school. I wonder why I wasn't ever chosen for a teaching job. I love kids, I am smart, I am charming...I guess that doesn't show on paper applications...I wonder if I ever will teach. I want to. I love it. I think about going back to get my masters and maybe working with kids in a different capacity, but I currently don't have the time or the money for that.

I try to remember all the wonderful things mentioned above that I am blessed with, but some days that is hard!!!! I know God has a plan for me and this is where he wants me, I just wish I knew why...

On antoher note, Kendall got her first "strikeout" of the season last night. She was hitting off the tee and had already missed the ball once. She was taking her time and measuring the bat to the ball like she is supposed to but accidentally bumped the ball with her bat and knocked it off the tee. Her response was thid "That umpire knew I was just measuring and that I didn't mean to touch the ball and she called me out anyway. It isn't FAIR." She did make 2 great plays at 2nd base so that helped with her self-esteem. Only 3 games left with this team. For that, I am thankful.

Anywayyy, enough crying LOL. I just have to remember that even though I can't see it, He does have a plan!!

HERE COMES THE SUN!!!

Monday again!

I can't believe it is already October 10th...I feel like school JUST started...We are almost done with the 9 weeks and in 2 weeks we have parent/teacher conference and get the first report card from 1st grade and her test scores! I can't wait to see them! I love seeing how well she is doing! She is such a smart little monkey!!!! I am missing her!! I haven't seen that stinker since Thursday and I got some interesting news that day and it was rough to leave her as she went to her dads.

A few weeks ago I had a physical and got some bloodwork done (I hadn't had any done in...well a long long time). I have been having some weird stuff going on such as losing TONS of hair, more frequent and severe headaches, feeling tired ALL the time, and achy. My doc devided to test me for lupus and to check my thyroid (among tons of other stuff) but those were his biggest concerns. I went back and had tested positive for lupus. When you test positive they generally run another test checking your "titers." I really don't know what this means, but they are supposed to be LESS than 1:40 and mine was 1:320....SOOOO, it was quite a bit higher than it is supposed to be. I asked him what next. Now I have to see a rheumatologist. I was referred to a dr. in Kingwood and I will see him on 10/19. My dr. told me there is about a 20% chance that it could be a false positive...that doesn't give me much hope. I know of a couple of people that have the disease and with treatment they are fine. Heck, one just had a baby!! If it is a false positive, then they are going to keep trying to find out what is causing all my problems. If it is lupus, I can now get treatment and maybe actually feel better now!!!

So, this happened on Thursday. I didn't get to KJ's game until almost 6 and was a wreck when I got there. I did not take the news well. So, KJ gets on deck fir her first at bat and low and behold, her batting stance is a MESS!!!! I was FURIOUS!!!! I told her to get her elbow up and she put the front one up...I asked her what she was doing and told her to get that back elbow up. Her response..."I can't. Coach wants it like this." That was not the right answer...I gave up and let her hit. She still got a hit at every at bat and got on base every time. They only have 4 games left and she is still batting 1.000. I will just have to work with her before January to get her fixed back to the correct and comfortable way.

Friday I went to see my handsome :) We went and had dinner and came home and SLEPT! I was beat! I couldn't sleep Thursday night and it took its toll on me. Sat morning we got up and went to his son's flag football game. It was cute. I have never seen little boys play football. The rest of the day we were super lazy and in the early evening a big storm came so it was the perfect lazy day. It rained A LOT!! They have had WAY less rain than we have had here so it was awesome to actually have two days of it!!! Sunday we watched the Texans and just relaxed. It was a great weekend :) I even got to watch Smokey and the Bandit...can you hear the excitement LOL. It was actually pretty funny. I think hearing him crack up was funnier than the actual movie :)

So, here we are, back to Monday. I think this is going to be a nice easy week. Cheer tonight and 2 softball games. KJ is out of school today and her dad is going to bring her by my office! I can't wait to see her in just about an hour!!!! She makes my world so much brighter!

This weekend I have a scrapbook crop but KJ was invited to a bday party on Sat so I don't know what I am going to end up doing...I REALLY need to scrap but I hate to choose what I want to do over what she wants to do. I will have to talk to Granny (they leave for Europe next Sat for THREE WEEKS...) and see if she needs some Kendall time before they go LOL.

Anyway, have a great week. I will update with Pink Sox results!!!! They are currently 4-1-1. Not too shabby :)

HERE COMES THE SUN!!!

Time gets away...

Wow...It has been almost 2 weeks since I posted...I am trying to do better, but alas...time gets away!!!

I cna't believe it is OCTOBER! I love this month. It is the start of fall and the holidays and the part of the year I love the most. FALL FALL FALL I love it! Pumpkins and scarecrows and Halloween! I love it all...after that we have Thanksgiving and then Christmas!!! Plus I get to break out sweaters and hoodies and cute coats :) I just can't say enough about FALL!

The Pink Sox are 4-1. KJ is still batting 1.000 which I am SO proud of. Saturday she got the GAME BALL!!!!!!!! She made an amazing out at 3rd (her 1st ever out) to end the inning and then in the next inning she drove in the game winning run! She is doing SO much better! She is really starting to LEARN the game and not just stand out there :) LOL! I still don't like the coaches. They are rude to the parents and they make bad decisions. They give NO fielding direction and it is stressful!!!!!!! I am so thankful there are only 5 games left and I can guarantee she will NOT be on this team again...

Saturday after the game we went to Dewberry Farm. This is our 4th year in a row to go. We have always gone with someone but this year we decided to just go spend some quality time together and go on our own. It was great! We had such a great day. We had no schedule and no time we needed to be anywhere else. The weather was great. She got to do it ALL! It was the perfect day!

Sunday was my sister's b-day so we went over to her house and spent some quality time with the family. She caught a lizard and got a box from Lissa and kept it for a pet. Monday night when she went to her dad's house, I let him go. He was looking a little sick. I am sure tongiht when she comes home she is NOT going to be pleased...hopefully her compassionate side will come out...

I have her tonight and tomorrow she goes back to dad's until Monday. I am going to see my sweet handsome man this weekend. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks and even then it was a short time because we only had one day together (both of our kid's had stuff on Saturday morning so I couldn't go up on Friday). I am excited! I miss him! We have so much fun together! It is so nice to be with someone that has NO DRAMA! We get along perfect and we both enjoy the same things.

Nothing amazing coming up in the near future...just life.

Oh, KJ had gotten all 100's on her spelling tests so far for the year! This makes me one happy girl!!!!!

Hope everyone is enjoying this amazing weather we are having and enjoying FALL!!!!!!

Here comes the sun!!!!

Pink Sox

OK, it is a little later than planned, but here goes...

The Pink Sox kicked bootie!! They won 12-6!! My girly got 2 great hits off the tee (she didn't hit off the coach because he SUCKS at pitching) and she got on base both times!!!! She also scored 1 run and then got left on 3rd for her 2nd at bat. She had an awesome time...until the coach put her in left field, both innings...she was staying softball ready and was charging like she is supposed to but you could tell she was really bored. That made momma sad. I don't want to be THAT mom so I just told her what a great job she did and that maybe next game she could play infield. That made her happy.

So you know I dislike the coach and we have had some disagreements on how he is teaching them (wrong throwing form and teaching all of them to have the same batting stance). WELLLLL, at the end of the game he gave me a handout..."The Seven DEADLY misconceptions in hitting" and told me to take a look at it and let him know my thoughts...but make sure I return it because it is copyrighted material that they had purchased so I couldn't keep it!

Here are my thoughts....take this paper and shove it up your......ok wait, that was my initial thought but that is not what I can say to him...my thoughts to the AMAZING and ALL KNOWING coach Keith and Ken will be this...
1. They are 6. They are just learning the game. I think that you are trying to teach them too much.
2. This handout is for boys. Just like the video you sent out last week.
3. If I hear you say BASEBALL ready to these girls one more time I might kick you.
4. THEY ARE SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He mentioned in this totally ridiculous email that if we had an idea on other ways to teach the girls then that is fine, but we needed to make sure that it was scientifically proven...ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about this...I played the game for about 10 years and I coached last season. My girls didn't win every game, but they all improved on their game. Also, there is myself and another head coach from last season plus an assistant coach from last season as parents on the team. BUT, we are just parent helpers since the coach's dad and brother are the official assistant coaches....WHATEVER....I digress...

The fact is that the girls won and I was super proud of my own Pink Sock.....??? lol

We had girl scouts last night and we completed our petals!! Yay! Next meeting is on to the new journey books we got! I can't wait!!

Tomorrow is game #2 and pictures for the Pink Sox...I hope KJ (that is bug's softball nickname) and her teammates do awesome again!!!!

GO PINK SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here comes the sun!

WEEKEND LOVE

I had such an amazing weekend with my ladybug. As I sit here and listen to George Strait's newest album I reflect on my weekend.

Since the separation, they have become so special. I only get two a month so I try and make sure they are super fun and full of love. I want to make the most of every minute I have with my girl. That is the only regret I have...I don't get to see my baby every day. I miss her...a lot. I see her a lot even when it is not my days because of all the things she is involved int, but I don't get to tucker her in every night...and well, that stinks.

Friday night we went to Academy and got miss softball diva a new bat. They can't use t-ball bats anymore so we went and got a new one. She also needed new cleats. Well, after picking a bat, she was CONVINCED that if she got batting gloves (like a girl on her team) then she would def hit better. Hey, I am all for doing whatever works. If $10 batting gloves give her more confidence...then so be it. We ended up having to go over to Sports Authority (what used to be called Oshman's). for cleats. When we were on our way over I told her where we were going and used the old name. I corrected myself and she asked why I called it that. I told her that is what it used to be called...response "Oh, back in the 90's and stuff" I mean really girl, I know I am old, but there is no need to rub it in. After our shopping we were meeting Granny & Paw Paw for dinner but I had to swing by the house to help a friend with a computer problem. And yes, I SAVED THE DAY!!!!

Saturday we got up and headed to practice. I must say the batting gloves worked! She smacked it into left on the first pitch! That is momma's girl! I did have to get rowdy with the coach when he was trying to change her batting stance again. I know my kid, I know how she likes to hit, I coached her for Pete's sake...I know what works for her. Please don't try and teach her something completely new........ANYWAY, I tried not to be a b!%^$ but I had to be a little loud. Another dad (and former coach) had to as well. These guys just don't listen, especially to women.

We came home for a nap and a shower. Later we got up and headed to the mall. Lion King 3D OH YEA!!!!!!! It was amazing!!! I love the Lion King and to experience it in 3D with my baby was just pure awesomeness....We walked the mall after and I pretty much let her have the lead. She loved it.

OH, and it...RAINED!!!!!

Today we woke up late and got some donuts. We got ready, headed to the halloween store. She picked out her costume (a cheerless leader) and we walked around the store for a bit. I love that she is not afraid of anything. She was trying every button in the place. Some would startle her but the girl has NO FEAR. Again, just like her momma!!!! We went to the dollar store to get buckets for the dugout and then we grocery shopped. Then, we just had a nice relaxing evening. We read some and I had to call mom to see if she can come work with her some. I am qualified to teach the girl but MAN it is SO different with your own kid!! I know she knows the words and sounds and such, but she just guesses instead of actually reading it. So, I am calling in reinforcements so we don't fall behind.

It was an amazing weekend filled with Kendall getting to be in charge (which she loves) and lots and lots of snuggles. I sleep with her on the weekends and she loves that the most. She goes to her dad's tomorrow. I will actually see her every day but Friday and Sunday because of scouts and softball so it won't be horrible.

I got two new cd's tonight. One is the new George Strait "Here For A Good Time". I am 8 tracks in and I LOVE it. I mean really, he is my all time fav so there was no doubt that I would, but man, he is amazing. This one is kind of different. It is a little darker than normal. I like that. And man, I love me some George. I have this joke about dating men "within my window". I won't date anyone younger than me and I won't date anyone that is out of their 30's. Well, for George, I would def leave my window LOL.

I also got the Eli Young Band cd "Life At Best". I have not listened to it yet, but know a few of the songs. My fav is "Crazy Girl". It has SO much meaning in my life right now. I have this special man in my life and parts of the song say just the right words. I can't really explain it, but he knows and that is all that matters.

Well, another busy week ahead. Monday we have cheer and I have a carnival meeting, Tuesday is Kendall's first game, Wednesday is Granny tutoring, Thursday is girl scouts, Friday is nothing (what a miracle) and Sat is another game. BUSY GIRLS WE ARE!!!!

I will try and update Tuesday after the game with how my rockstar played!!

HERE COMES THE SUN!!!!!!

Life

Well, time is flying! I get told all the time that I need to update more and I try. I have good intentions, but I am just so...busy.

So, here we go. Dad's party was spectacular!!!! He was completely surprised and a ton of family and great friends were there. I got to see my brother that lives in Montana and a few great family friends that I don't get to see that often but who I love dearly. Mom introduced everyone that was there after she went down the mile long list of kids, grandkids, and great grandkids...Somehow I got placed at the END of the list...I think she forgot me but I prefer to believe that she save the best 2 for last (Kendall was after me). I brought my friend that is a boy LOL - I KNOW I KNOW!!! That is some serious news right!!!!!!!!!! OK, so I have a very special boy in my life. He is amazing. He treats me like a princess. So, Kendall got to meet him and so did the family. They ALL loved him. He got along with everyone and he is just well....awesome. I am very blessed to have found him. But, all in all, the party was a HUGE success.

This week has been busy. Kendall had her first spelling test last week. DUH she got a 100. I am so proud of her. She never had any in Kindergarten but she rocked this one. I went over and over the words with her when she was with me. She said her and her dad did too. She also started her reading group this week. Kendall has been slow to develop her reading skills. She flew through the book. I was amazed. The last night she got another book and her dad said she did awesome with that one too. I had her read them both to me tonight and she read both books without hardly any stumbling on the words. I was so freaking proud of her. It is almost like the switch has been flipped on and she just decided to read. She has another spelling test tomorrow so I hope she does as well. I am pretty confident she will as long as she takes her time and listens.

We had a softball scrimmage tonight. Again, another switch has been flipped. She ROCKED that game tonight. She was aggressive on the field, she smacked the ball, and she ran her heart out. She even almost got an out on 1st from short if the first baseman would have been paying attention. She was SO proud. I think she has found her inner softball diva. I am so proud. I really don't love the coach. His dad helps and they won't take ANY direction. They have never coached girls before. Now on this team as parents, you have me, who has coached before and played for YEARS and you have a dad that coached last season and another dad that was his assistant. The head coach is teaching them to trow super weird, he told me I was wrong Tuesday at practice when I was getting MY OWN CHILD into her hitting stance. UMMMM hello, I kind of know what I am doing. I have done this a time or two and I really don't like being told I am wrong when I know I am not...ANYWAY...I am TRYING to not lose it. It is taking a lot, but I am trying....

The first game is Tuesday so I am pumped!! LETS GO PINK SOX!!!!!

Until tomorrow (HA - who am I kidding, I won't update tomorrow) I will try and aim for...Monday. But wait that is cheer and a carnival meeting and...ok well I will just see you when I see you...I am too busy.

Here comes the sun!!!!

My Daddy

Labor Day! What a great weekend. I was invited to go hang with some great friends (who some I have been friends with for almost 30 years). One of the girls has a family beach house and they had the use of this weekend. It was SO great. We went down on Saturday afternoon and came home late Sunday. It was so great to see all my old friends. These girls were my life for YEARS. I really lost contact with them over the years. The ex didn't really let me out much so we lost contact. We have all reconnected through facebook but have only seen each other once since then. I miss them all terribly. I loved watching our babies get to play together. I hope that we can continue to get closer again.

On another note, in two days my dad will be 80!! I can't believe it. It feels just like yesterday that we were celebrating his 70th bday. It was a great party. Tons of friends and family. I didn't have my ladybug yet so she missed it, but this year...there is another party. A SURPRISE PARTY!! I can't wait. I think he might have a tiny idea that we are planning something but I don't think he knows what. Mom told me today that she is expecting 70 people. Ummm, that is a LOT!!

Well, today Mom and I went shopping for some stuff to make memory cards for people to fill out. I am excited about that! We got a big frame mat to put a picture in for people to sign. We got some fact sheets made up about 1931. We also got some poster boards to make photo collages. We are also going to have tons of framed pics everywhere. I am SO excited. I can't wait!!!!

We have softball practice Tuesday and Thursday, Dad's actual birthday on Wednesday, Girl Scouts Thursday, dinner with the family on Friday and the party on Saturday! BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!

More to come on the party front!!!!!!!!!!

Here comes the sun!